|
|
Sign up now, Make more friends, Enjoy with more features, Let you easily Fun Community.
You have to Login for download or view attachment(s). No Account? Register
x
Edited by OjciecPijus at 2019-5-25 03:01 PM
DISCLAIMER: This thread was made to have abit of fun. I dont want to insult anyone. Let's make our humors better after losing games :)
Reading this thread may cause things like: Boredom, headache, cancer and other nasty things. So make sure you have alot of free time.
Mobile (Laggers) Legends (or Mobile Laggers: Broke Broke) - Fair (?) moba game avaible on android, IOS, PC, mac, Xbox, ps4, Nintendo, Nokia 3310 etc. Made by China who want people to believe that making friendships is possible everywhere. In order to become Glorious Mythic u have to team up with friends, bcuz thats what people say. Soloq is for n4bs. U win when enemy surrender (some say that u can win by destroying enemy nexus).
From Nab to pro:1. Choose champion with the biggest b**bs.
2. Say that u main her (even if u dont).
3. If u die, tell ur teammates that they suck.
4. If they die and try to insult you, say that u had lags.
5. Destroy enemy towers.
6. Destroy enemy nexus? crystal? That thing when u destroy all enemy turrets.
7. GZ u won the game.
8. If not, repeat from point #1.
Useful knowlege:
Creeps
Monsters placed in the jungle. The most popular one is Lord, which is the biggest neutral Creep who (doesnt look like Tigs skin anymore) looks like a can and should be taken down with the whole teams help. Even if, everyone is taking it solo.
Crab
(Not)Newly added jungle monster avaible on both sides of the map. Killing it gives u few useless $$$. Whatcha waiting for? Goo kill it b4 n4bs will.
Minions
Colorful hooded midgets. Meat shields for towers and heroes. From time to time they come out of the base to give gold and xp for enemy heroes. Tower destroyers. When u destroy last turret, new better minions called SUPERMINIONS OF DOOM will show up.
Lord
Big knight with sh*t tons of hp. When you kill him/her/it (unnecessary delete), he/she/it will act as a 6th player who plays as a tank. As the time goes on, Lord becomes stronger and much more (useless) useful.
Turtle
Medium sized blue turtle which gives exp and 200 gold everytime u kill it. Nothing more to say.
Ganks
Ganks is that when two or more heroes kill unprepared enemy who was alone. When someone is missing in lane you should inform your team about that by pings. Sadly, 90% of players dont know what that means. After succesful gank, u will see in chat ganked enemy saying "U FAKING NOO00BS ONLY 5V1 COM 1V1!!!1!!!!11!".
Nexus (or inhibitor - dont misunderstand with incubator)
Enemy WC. Ur quest is to destroy it and cause constipation and renal failure in enemies. It has alot of useful things:
1. It exists
2. It makes the base look more beautiful
3. It gives shadow in hot days.
4. It draws a significant amount of energy.
5. When destroyed, it lose everything mentioned above.
Turrets
Avaible on every lane. They make enemy life a much more harder with their rainbow laser of friendship (read; laser of doom). Players have to sacrifice their little friends (minions) or no0b or ask a pro who plays tank for help, to destroy them which will help u getting to the enemy nexus. In the spawning platform are turrets which hit for 2k dmg and n4bs who want to make penta just simply die to them.
Divisions
Every player wants to become better and your rank tells how good you are. Here are some examples:
Warrior- Its the worst of all divisions. Players in Warrior division dont know how to play and most likely feed or afk but their ego is skyhigh.
Elite- In this mysterious division, players have more knowlege how to (feed/go afk) play. Chances that someone goes afk equals 90%.
Master- If you manage to get to master-good job, but you still have a lot to learn such as raging, being c*cky. False ego.
Grandmaster- At this division you probably think you're better than iFlekzz but the thing is - you're not. Blood presure goes high when you get pentakill in 1v5 situation.
Epic- People in epic aint so epic in real life. However you might be epic but would still be called a n4b by Warrior ranks. Ego level is as big as Balmond's chest.
Legend- At this division certain players think they can kill 5 enemy players on their own as if their name is Thelegend27 but rages when they get ganked. Fans of "I am the legend" movie.
Mythic and Glorious Mythic - Not much of a change from previous - Glorious Legend - division, but people think u need more skill(?) to reach it. Same sh*t tho.
EVENTS
Magic Wheel (aka Money Wheel) - Its an event where u can obtain Saber's skin called Codename Storm and Miya's legendary skin - Mona Butterfly. The event is called "Magic" because it makes your money disappear from ur wallet. Cool trick huh?
(Un)Lucky Box - Another event where in order to get a skin u want u have to spend sh*t tons of $$$ on it. The main diff between Money Wheel and unLucky Box is that in this event u have to spend less money. Do you?
(Un)Lucky Spin - Younger brother of Unlucky Box. In this event u have a chance to win a randomly generated skin (every week skin changes so gogogo) for "free". U have one free spin every 48 hrs or u can spend 20 tickets (used to be diamonds but we r poor people so moneytoon changed it) if u r rich and dont want to wait. All skins (except for 1st skin which was Ghouls Fury. It was made to attract people tho xd) were 269 diamonds (not)worth so far.
Game contains 72 heroes (YAY!)
1. Akai - Bowling master. He ate all supplies from Yi su(n)shi restaurant and he ran away. His belly Knocks back everything including everything. He cant touch his c*ck bcuz of that big belly. Too bad for him.
-
2. Aldous - Another fire themed guy (idk what's with that fire theme) who can one shot tanks, turrets, turtles, lords, minions, jungle creeps, base crytals, adcs, assassins, fighters, mages, dogs, cats, birds... And so on. The list is endless actually. He has problem holding knife in his right hand so he can't make himself buns with jam. So he eats rocks and drinks lava.
-
3. Alice - Period woman. She was gathering her period (bcuz no1 wanted to pregnant her), to kill n00bs. Keeps talking about Jack. No1 knows whos that.
-
4. Alpha - Before he became who he is right now, he was hippis named Bob Marley. He loves weed, Snoop Dogg, reggae music and his dreadlocks are the only thing that reminds him of his past life. He has world record in getting nerfs after releasing him.
-
5. Alucard - Dracula if u read backwards. He's half human half demon. His ult grants him sh*t tons of lifesteal. He can 1v5 with ease and f*ck Alice at the same time.
-
6. Angela (Merkel) - another support who likes bunnies and she listens to Metallica - master of puppets. She is so skilled that she can go deep inside you, so now 2 people become one.
-
7. Argus (Anus) - Fallen Angel with tattered wings. His ult lasts less longer than author of this thread in bed. Rafaela's ex (boy)friend.
-
8. Aurora - Ice (b*tch) Queen. Her heart is cold so don't ask her if she wants to hang out with you. She's probably Miya's father/uncle/sister/grandpa. In free time she sells ice creams and works as a fridge.
-
9. Balmond - His chest is so big that every other male champion is ashamed. Human carousel. His ult is perfect to kill Tanks/steal lord or turtle.
-
10. Bane - one of the most useless champs in the game. You can drink rum with him and when he's drunk enough, he sends his flying dutchman to destroy towers.
-
11. Belerick - A plant mixed with beetle. Adcs who try to dps him get dps by HIM instead without him doing absolutely nothing. His ult makes him take all the damage, allowing him to dps everyone faster than you can say "my team s*cks" - again, doing absolutely nothing!
-
12. Bruno - Messi, Ronaldo, Iniesta, Petr Čech in one. He plays with Akai in the same team (probably brasilian). He's on top of the world.
-
13. Chang'e - Man walks into a bar and asks the first guy he met "Yo, got some change?". Chang'e hearing that got pissed and threw a carrot bomb at him resulting in man's death. He got his change after that tho.
-
14. Chou - His punches are faster than light so he doesnt have to punch the enemy to defeat him bcuz punches from the future will do it. Its very dangerous tho bcuz Chou has to be careful, he cant let his fists from future to hit him bcuz the only thing that can hurt Chou is Chou himself.
-
15. Claude - Moonton released 2 characters here saying that its only the Claude, while Dexter does the entire job without getting paid for it. Poor fella. Sun tries to rescue Dexter outta Claude's tyranical hands.
-
16. Clint - Lucky Luke. Before rework he was op, now he's like a God. He has a bullet with your name on it (idk where he has so many bullets) so be careful. In free time he goes on rodeo with Minotaur.
-
17. Cyclops aka PokeMon(ster) - (NOT)The newest hero. He can spam skills 24/7 and dont even sweat. In lore he's described as a "Giant". Good work.
-
18. Diggie - aka Bigge famous raper. Weilds giant clock like rapers do. Instead of dying, he changes into an egg and waits to be smashed into scrumbled eggs dish. He can fly but u can buy boots to become even faster.
-
19. Eudora - Shocking woman with one of the biggest b**bs. Dont even think to have a drink with her bcuz it will be last thing u drank.
-
20. Estes - Thranduil from the Lord of The Rings. He's prolly Miya's father/uncle/granddad/aunt/grandmom - unnecessary delete. Bookworm who loves reading about Kamasutra and such.
-
21. Fanny - When she's in ur team - she cant play. When she's in enemy team - she does 20/0/10 in 5 mins. After huge number of nerfs, she's still strong.
-
22. Fasha (Pharsa) - bird(wo)man. She can morph into pigeon and fly through obstacles. Her ult allows her to do campshots for ez killz.
-
23. Franco - Techno Vikings brother. He can hook you under his own tower and kill. He wants to be a teacher - "Time to teach you guyz a lesson".
-
24. Freya - The only one champion who cant be bought for bp. When she uses her ult, everyone is running away including ur teammates.
-
25. Gatotkaca - God-Masochist. He likes to be punched. At this moment unkillable character, and with maxed Unbreakable spell and built Oracle, he can stand inside 5 enemies healing for more than they can deal damage. He can kill lord without even touching it.
-
26. Gord - 50 year old man on skateboard. Even if he doesnt use his feet to walk, u can buy boots to be faster. His ultimate is called "The laser of Friendship" - yeah, i don't have to tell you why.
-
27. Grock - Living rock/mountain/fortress. He's not taking a regular shower and that why he's overgrown with dirt. He's like a Trump - both likes to build walls.
-
28. Gussion - The most beloved guy(kid) who looks like Justin Bieber but with changed voice. He surely has some eyesight problems because he claims to have swords. He keeps asking how many of them does he have.
-
29. Hanabi - To bi or not to bi? Hanabee is a ninja waman with giant shuriken which can multiply itself somehow into smaller shurikens which bonuce off of the enemies killing them withing seconds without the need of help from her teammates. In love with Haya who prefers younger wom... girls (coughKaguracough).
-
30. Harith - Nana's brother most likely. Dashes here and there. Ult allows him to dash even more. He's a time traveler who has 0 in common with time travels actually. Oh, His passive makes your CC spells useless. Very good idea.
-
31. Harley - Dynamo's and Criss Angel's son. He shows up here and there, thinks hes handsome and whatnot. A boy looking like a girl. His biggest trick is.... Well, better check your pockets.
-
32. Hayabusa (Hayababy) - Do not even try to 1v1 this guy. He's Kagura's childhood friend tho his voice sounds like he has 25 years while kagura is 10. Probably pedophile.
-
33. Helcurt - U go safely and happily on lord, turtle or to help ur team. Suddenly ur vision is reduced to few pixels and some absolute madman jumps on u. U throw all ur spells and he to thank u for that, makes a tatar from ya.
-
34. Hilda - Big armored battering ram who jumps on enemies and cuts their heads off or eventually she cuts their legs/arms/d*cks off. She looks like Balmond and some believe that Hilda is Balmond's wife who keeps punching him when he won't bring her a flower or two. Happy married.
-
35. Hylos - Galloping unicorn with halabard. He looks like male version of My Little Pony. He's the tankiest champ, yet hes more useless than Bane.
-
36. Irithel (ex Mona) - No one knows how to pronouce her name so everyone calls her Wild Cat... I dont have to tell you why. She doesnt trust humans and she prefers animals. Secret Zoophile.
-
37. Jawhead - Machine who protects children from pedophiles (gtfo hayabusa). He can throw everything, doesnt matter if it weights 99999999.99kg. He can shoot rockets and he likes jogging.
-
38. Johnson - Transformer without driving license. He can pick u up under enemy tower/base for some $$$. He took a part in Fast'n'Furious - Tokio Drift. He doesn't pay taxes.
-
39. Kagura - She came to help her brother/friend/Bf (unnecessary delete). Her umbrela has alot of monsters inside (im curious where exacly). One of the best mages. Trying to catch her equals to trying to catch a fly.
-
40. Kaja - Eagle with whip. He's a bad result of romance between Pharsa and Uran*s. He can pull enemies like dogs on leash. He can also go through allies, shielding thiem somehow.
-
41. Karina - Dark Elf. She has the biggest b**bs and ass in the game so pick her before n00bs will. Best champ for ks and making pentas.
-
42. Karrie - What happens when you combine fidget spinner with goat, woman and some mechanical parts? You will get Karrie who can karrie you for the win. She's the Fidget Spinner Queen who loves to say "FASTER FASTER! Whatever the heck that means.
-
43. Kimmy - What the hell is this shiet. She's a marksman/adc hybrid who shots in 360 degree range. She has 2nd joystick for shooting which makes people confused and they use that 2nd joystick trying to walk and shoot with the 1st one. She will be buffed for sure.
-
44. Lance(sl*t)lot - Master of duels. He/She (u cant be sure) loves swordplay (XD) and reading Romeo & Julia. Odette's Bf/Gf, but he/she cheats on her with Minotaur and Grock.
-
45. Lapu (Fapu) Lapu - He's as naked as Balmond is which means that they are brothers. When his (d*ick) sword gets bigger - run away or he will put it in your ass. He goes to the gym 8 days per week. Balmond goes 9 days/week.
-
46. Layla - She thinks that "we can do it". Ult is perfect to kill champs who are hiding in the bush with 10hp and trying to recall. Clints GF. She works for playboy as a playboy bunny.
-
47. Leomord - Undead knight on horse with giant sword. Moskov's boyfriend. He "looks at his horse and his horse is amazing".
-
48. Lesley - Woman-sniper who shots through whole map. You can bodyblock her bullets like a hero, dying for ur teammates, and getting comments like "awesome feed report".
-
49. Lolita - Midget with hammer bigger than she is. She can cover you with her shield and everything is K. After rework she's more mobile and more annoying than b4.
-
50. Lunox - Girl with mood swings. Even if she has 2 types of skills, everyone is using her dark form since its broken. She could one shot tanks but after hotfix she can 3 shot them.
-
51. Martis - Ashura King who left his "kingdom" to conquer other worlds. His people are dying due to hunger and lack of money because their king left them. He's emo buddy of Moskov.
-
52. Minisitthar - or Minish*t if you prefer. Franco with a spear who can pull people regardeless of minions unlike Franco's hook. You won't be even able to get out of his "zone of overall peace and friendship" so just surrender after enemies pick him.
-
53. Minotaur - His IQ equals minus 120. He is " ANGRY!". Dont even try to milk it, bcuz a cow which raors alot doesnt give much milk. When u piss him off he will smack u with his Warhammer.
-
54. Miya - Moonlinght Archer. Her heart is cold as ice. She can hit ur left eye from a mile away. She can also cool ur beer in hot days.
-
55. Moskov - He jumps around the battlefield like Yuri Boyka in the ring. If u think u caught him, well ure probably dead already. He belongs to emo social group and he likes every emo fanpage on facebook. He comes from Russia.
-
56. Nana - Catwoman on prema high. Keeps talking about mushrooms (she smokes mariuana with Alpha). She can transform u into a pedobear and knock up enemies and throw a frisbee in ur face. She loves hello kitty.
-
57. Natalia - She loves Hide & Seek. Rumors say that she lives in a bushes (Someone saw her once watching tv and drinking beer). She jumps out of nowhere and kills everyone.
-
58. Odette (Omlette) - Barbie girl with a sword to show off. She cant swim (Dont tell anybody that or sad men in black suits will come for ya!). Ehhhh...
-
59. Rafaela - An angel who has an orgasm everytime she attacks. She can use her powers to heal allies, restore their hp or eventually cure them. Flying ambulance which heals better than any other hospital.
-
60. Roger - Fan of the "Painkiller" movie from where he get his "pew pew" gun. He can transform into a dog with rabies so stay away from him/it
-
61. Ruby - Soviet (She's red right?) girl who used to bring a cake for her grandma. Now she's swinging her scythe on left and right slaying (n4abs) pro players. Instead of going to the school or help her mother in cleaning the house or cooking, she's wandering around the land of dawn.
-
62. Saber - He wanders the Land of Dawn giving free haircuts to all victims with his ult as he passes. Be wary however, sometimes he rusts and his swords can cut more than just hair...
-
63. Selena - Abyss witch with sh*t long stun. The moment you get hit with that flying black sperm cell - you're dead. She did't get serious nerfs and more over! She got buffed because she was too (stronk) weak in the eyes of developers. Well made ngl.
-
64. Sun - Apeman who escaped from the " Planet of the Apes" movie and came to the land of dawn. He uses his wooden rod to punch enemy's head which causes headache and makes them to surrender. His clones are so (useless) useful.
-
65. Thamuz - Lord Lava who is not immune to Valir's flame attacks. Beat fire with fire they say. His schythes weight so much that its better to run without them. Ult burns everything around him while healing him (but that still doesn't make him immune to valir's flame attacks).
-
66. Tigreal - Barve heart. When enemies see him coming, they r running away in panic or hide in a "brush". His ult was similar to Lords stun. He competes with Balmond who is the only one real man with balls.
-
67. Uranus - Umm. Your An*s is... What is it? According to wikipedia "...anus[size=14.875px] (from [size=14.875px]Latin[size=14.875px] anus[size=14.875px] meaning "ring", "circle")[size=14.875px] is the external opening of the [size=14.875px]rectum[size=14.875px]." Yes. He can shoot 2 said "rings" or "circles". And pull others towards him, which is kinda scary if you think about it.
-
68. Valir - Master of flames, or as he calls it - "Arcane". When a woman asks him for lighter on the street to smoke a cigarette, he just snaps his fingers setting that cigarette on fire (and woman too!).
-
69. Vexana - Necromancer-necrophile. Summons omens which brings her water, elecricity and gas in the wicker basket. Master of floating and she sounds like an old gypsy.
-
70. Yi Sunsh*t - Asian guy who was bored with doing sushi and rice in his restaurant so he came to the land of dawn for new ideas on how to make better meals. His ultimate serves the best food in the neighbourhood bcuz of fast delivery.
-
71. Zhask - Planes dominator. Hes responsible for WTC which happened in 9.11.2001. Summons turrets, shoots lasers, throws "land mines".
-
72. Zilong - Son of the Dragon (he has two fathers who are gays). When he uses his ult he say "Heroes never fade!!!!" and he runs away. He can flip an enemy who is 4x bigger than him.
-
Nonsenses in Mobile Laggers:
*Alice can suck blood from Grock...
*...From Bane too
*Floating heroes can fall in Zhask's Hive Clones
*You can knock up flying/floating enemies
*Miya can freeze Aurora
*Jawhead can throw Grock
*Irithiel walks slower than Bane
*Grock is Faster than them two
*When enemy is using Roger, he can see you through grass like on X-Ray
*You can silience Odette
*You can blind heroes who r using something that covers their eyes
*Layla uses laser weapon, she cant one shot anyone
*Chou can punch turrets without breaking his knuckles
*Akai too
*Franco can pull Grock like he weights nothing
*Ranged heroes never run out of ammo
*Gord and Diggie can buy boots to be faster even if they dont use their feet to walk
*U can see hayabusa's shadows even if u turn off shadows in options
*Nana can morph anything, including cars
*Yun Zhao can flip enemy 4x bigger than himself
*Minotaur on rage is as big as turret, tho he still can hide in small grass
*Ranged heroes can buy swords even if they dont fight melee
*After buying immortality u can still die - especially undead champions
Requests made by players
1. Nerf Fanny!
2. Nerf Moskov
3. Natalia need buff
4. Remove Fanny pl0x!!11!!!1
5. Ruby cant heal from autoattacks!? Why??????¿¿
6. Nerf Eudora
7. Fix lags
8. Rework Bane!
9. Rework Sun
10. Ban Johnson for not having driving license
11. Yi sun sh*t
12. Remove developers
13. Delete moonton
14. Add posibility to pimp Johnson's car
15. Add more itemzzzz
16. N00bs
17. Hello.
18. U s*ck
19. Commmm 1v1 idiot!!1!!!11!
20. Put CD on Fanny second skill
21. Nerf Hayabusa, Chou, Estes, Lord and MINIONS FFS!!1!!!11!!!!
22. MOR AZZAZZINZ PLOX
23. We need a tank!
24. REWOARK BEIN M0NI PLOX YAZ OR OKI!?
25. Rapord vaxana she kill after she dead!!!1!!!1!!1!!111!
Report System
Report System was made to reward good players. The more people report you - the more points you get. The more points you get - the better you are. So for what can you be reported? Here's the list:
*For leaving the game
*For being unexperienced
*For being n00b
*For saying compliments (known as flaming)
*For victory (your team won for you)
*For defeat (your team lost because of you)
*Just because why not?
*For Turkish nationality
*For living in different country
*For not using chat
*For getting lost in bushes
*For playing on Nokia 3310
*For feeding
*For having autism
*For being on the same lane where your ally died
*For beating opponents
*For assisting in getting kill (you probably wanted to steal that kill)
*For ganking (only n4bs can't hold their lane on their own)
*For no teamwork (only n4bs think they can hold their lane on their own)
*For using ultimate (it could be saved for later)
*For not having mana
*For supporting (and having 0 kills as a support)
*For trolling (people don't like when you go offmeta pick, because they are used to current meta and they don't like changes)
Sometimes you can be reported for free. But people aren't so generous nowadays :/
Side note: thread will be updated so no worries :)
Update contains:
- added Gusion, Valir, Martis, Uranus, Hanabi, Chang'e, Kaja, Selena, Aldous, Claude, Leomord, Lunox, Belerick, Kimmy, Thamuz, Harith, Minisitthar and their descriptions.
- .Optimized fonts for better reading experience :D
- updated "final words section"
Co-creators of this thread:
- Adem
- 2 Fresh
- Alan
FINAL WORDS
I was abit buy with my stuff in real life and youtube so I didn't have much time for updating the article. Altho when I saw that 7k people read through it, I was like '' Holy sh*et. I must work on that post". All I can say is that you can expect weekly updates on every sunday. Make sure to check out my vid called "Interview with MLBB character designer". Here's the link:
https://youtu.be/mUc1vkbunzw
Thanks for your amazing supoprt!
If u have any idea which you think is worth putting it in this thread, feel free to share it with me in the comments section (hero descriptions/new things etc). I will choose the best ones and I will put your nick in the Glory (hole) Section - read; co-creators of this thread.
NOTE
On the 11.07.2017, all people ran out of food, water, there was no electrecicy, young men were pregnant and women grow d*cks. The overall darkness veiled the world... End of the World... Naaah Im joking (weird huh?), one dude spreaded false(?) info about closing ML:BB but its all ok now :D
Credits
Thanks to Alan for making and providing me pics used in this thread (new ones). Good job mate.
Consider joining my discord server:
https://discord.gg/STZ2qeN
|
|
[Copy link]
Show IP Card
Radar Card
Post time 2017-3-30 02:31 AM
Bump Card
Silent card
Continue Anonimous Post
Author